Have You Been Squandering Your Company's Most Valuable Asset?

Not sure what that asset is?  

Then yeah, you've probably been losing out on the biggest & easiest source of revenue you could ever hope for (see it below)

Oh hey, I'm glad you could make it!

See the picture of the guy with that highly dubious rope bridge in the background (which he crossed and lived to tell about)?

Well that's me.

Hi I'm Andre Janisch, CEO of CustomerListMastery.com.

Let's make this fast. You're busy. I'm busy. 

And the people you're hoping to turn into new customers? 


They're busy with their noses shoved into their smartphones...

Which makes getting their attention to sell them anything harder than counting votes in a US election.

Now "Attention" is THE #1 currency of business because without it...

You cannot sell a dang thing. So when it comes to business, there is one cardinal rule I live by:

"Focus on the people whose attention is the easiest to capture and turn into profits"

And that, my friend, is your own list of customers.

Here's why...

Crazy right?

Who would of "thunk" your own customer list was so darn rich and creamy!

I mean, 80% of your future profits coming from 20% of your existing customers? Yes Please!

That's why companies get me to work with their customer email list...

I help them build long-term & monstrously profitable relationships with everyone on their list - especially that 20%.

So, Companies will  "Sherlock Holmes" me up whenever they...

  • Don't have the time, skill or ability to maximize the FULL PROFIT POTENTIAL of their email list of customers (also known as leaving a boat load of money on the table - I mean who wants that?)
  • Want to build stronger relationships with all their current and potential customers so their competitors don't scoop 'em up (with email marketing they're able to talk to all their customers on a regular basis and buy up so much valuable real estate in their heads - competitors won't even have a place to squat)
  • Would LOVE to have automated sequences that create sales and are triggered by their customer's behavior (like when they abandon a cart before checkout, click a link in an email but don't buy, and a whole whack of other ways all designed to create instant sales out of thin air. It's like having awesomeness served to you on a plate)
  • Need their emails land into the Primary Folder and not in promo purgatory or some spamhole. (Yikes! 50% of all email addresses in North America are Gmail. Gmail is tough and that means there's a good chance your emails are not even being seen)
  • Gotta have Bigger, Badder, Better email open rates. (Boring emails lose sales and make your eyes want to leap out of your head and hit the delete key for you. The Cure? Addictive, personality-rich emails that are electrified with humorous and charismatic information)

If any of that sounds remotely like your situation - well, you're in luck! Because I can set all that up for you and manage it.

But do you know what 
else I'm known for?


Captivating Your Customer's Attention 

By Blending The Potent Power of Email With Charismatic Content and a Wee Bit of Humor (aka the "Mesmerizing Formula")

Now formulated to stimulate 37% more dopamine
(the happiness hormone) in all your customers!  

Now formulated to stimulate 30% more dopamine (the happiness hormone) in all your customers!

Got a list of customers and hate the idea of competitors seducing any of them away?

Then discover how my "Mesmerizing Formula"
can make your customers...

Love hearing from you because you're so darn fun, informative & entertaining

Who wouldn't want to tear into an email that's electrified with humorous and charismatic information?

Your customers would rip into those like a bucket of Häagen-Dazs ice cream on a blistering hot summer day (only a whole lot quieter).

Enjoy their relationship with you so much they'll buy from you again & again

Imagine being able to talk to all your customers everyday. That's what email lets you do.

Not just any 'ole email mind you.


Oh no...these are mesmerizing emails - ones that are cleverly disguised as entertaining, fun to read content - all designed to build strong relationships with your customers...

And slip in sales messages at the same time without them ever knowing or feeling like they're being sold to.

What? You want an example of what that's like? Ok..then boop this link so we can give this fun sponge a squeeze.

Keep you "Top Of Mind" and completely reject all your competitors and their sales tricks

Are your competitors talking to all their customers everyday? Nah, they're out chatting up some other hot prospect after dumping the last one they sold to.

They'll even try chat up and seduce yours.

But since your customers love getting something new and entertaining from you on the regular...

They won't have time for the shenanigans of some flashy hustler who only wants to slide their hand down your customer's pants and into their wallet.

Become such raving fans of your company they'll help build you a cult following all on their own

Most competitors only know how to clone each other in how they look, talk and act. They call that "normal industry practice" (Yawn).

But since email marketing makes what you do feel new, fresh and alive, you'll stand out like red Ferrari in parking lot of beige Toyotas.

And when people enjoy how your company makes them feel (because you are so darn fun, informative and entertaining)...

They can't help but talk about you to other people and kickstart a kind of cult following.

A quick peek at a few of the companies I've worked with


My Most Frequently Asked Questions

My audience is serious and I don't think humor would work

The people on your list are human, right? 

Gosh I hope so because humans on earth love to laugh.

I mean we all know those little grey guys who fly around abducting people are never seen joking around (they take their anal probing job quite seriously).

And when it comes to other alien species, your guess is as good as mine, although this guy looks fun...

Men In Black Alien

Now I'm going to assume (as far as you can tell) your list is mostly human.

So then this would be an ideal time to remind you how every industry on the planet...

Have employees doing jobs that can be so tedious and boring...

They'd bite down on Carolina Reapers  (worlds hottest pepper) just to inject some excitement into their work day.

But you could offer them something just as exciting and a whole lot less lethal to their taste buds.

Like opening highly entertaining messages from you...

About the cool stuff you do...

But written in an irresistibly hypnotic, "I can't wait to read what you sent today" kind of way.

Most emails people get in their job are lifeless corporate speak, endless questions or hypey salesy stuff.

Your company's emails, on the other hand, would be filled with so much personality...

People would be at a high risk of becoming addicted to them and find themselves tuning in every day for another "hit"...

Like it was their favorite podcast (awesome for open rates if you're the kind who nerds out on numbers).

Humor has the peculiar power to hijack a customer's attention so completely...

That they get totally sucked into reading your message like it was a black hole and never even realize they're being sold to the entire time. 


If your audience really is humorless and cube-counting dull (or it's just not appropriate) then no worries, I can adjust...

My writing is just as flexible as any boneless human you see folding himself in half on the street.

Rubber man

I hear you also write daily email for companies. Isn't that a bit too much? I'm afraid my list would get mad or opt out.

How much email you send will always depend on your market.

However, most industries can easily take an email everyday. Especially if they are entertaining and offer value.

Now if I can send a daily email to owners of area rug cleaning companies (an exciting niche if there ever was on one let me tell you 🤣) and sell over a million dollars worth of equipment with it...

Then there's a 99.999 blah blah blah percent chance you can do it in your industry.

Remember, the more you communicate with your customers the more of a relationship you're building. You want to own so much real estate in your customers head that your competitors can't even find a place to squat.  

What your customer's brain will do with your competitor

Plus people don't always read their emails everyday, but if you're sending daily, there's a good chance you will be seen and read at least twice a week (usually more because they'll be so darn fun to read).

Is there really enough interesting content to email everyday?

"Is there really enough interesting content to email every day?"

Are you kidding me? Strap yourselves in because we're about to embark on an email adventure like no other!

Let me tell you, no matter what company you own, the world is your oyster when it comes to captivating content. It's like having a never-ending supply of comedy gold, drama, and jaw-dropping moments.

It's like binge-watching your favorite TV show, but instead of mindlessly devouring popcorn, you're serving up mouthwatering offers to your eager subscribers.

Imagine your company as a master storyteller, spinning tales that make your subscribers lean in closer, eagerly awaiting your next episode.

Whether it's the thrilling saga of your latest product launch, the heartwarming anecdotes from satisfied customers, or even the epic battles you face in the competitive market, there's no shortage of captivating stories to share.

But let's not forget about the magic of creativity. With a dash of imagination and a sprinkle of marketing genius, you can turn any ordinary event into a compelling narrative that effortlessly leads to selling your products or services.

Take, for example, a trending event in your industry. 

It's like finding a hidden treasure chest of engagement. Unleash your wit, drop some industry knowledge bombs, and watch as your subscribers become eager participants in the adventure. Every email is an invitation for them to join you on an exhilarating quest, where the ultimate reward is your amazing offerings.

And don't underestimate the power of current events, my good looking friend. 

Ride the wave of pop culture like a pro surfer catching the biggest wave in town. Whether it's a viral meme, a celebrity scandal, or a bizarre world record, find clever ways to tie them into your email content. You'll become the life of the party, effortlessly captivating your audience while making them go, "Hey, these folks really get me!"

So, to answer your question with a resounding YES, there is absolutely enough interesting content to email every day. 

Your company's unique stories, the happenings in your industry, or even the quirks of the world can all be transformed into irresistible tales that lead straight to selling your products or services.

It's like having a secret recipe for success that blends humor, relevance, and a sprinkle of magic.

So, my friend, embrace the art of storytelling, tap into your boundless creativity, and let those emails work their enchantment.

Your subscribers will be hooked, your sales will skyrocket, and your competitors will be left wondering how you managed to transform everyday tales into marketing gold.

Why is it a good idea to email everyday?

Oh, you've stumbled upon something truly marvelous, my friend.

Prepare yourself for a wild ride through the email marketing universe, where every message is an opportunity to sell, make people laugh, and have them wondering if you've secretly tapped into their brainwaves.

Here's the scoop: when it comes to email marketing, it's like having a virtual storefront right in your subscribers' inboxes. You can sell your products, your services, and maybe even your soul (just kidding...maybe).

But why stop there? Let's sprinkle in a healthy dose of humor to make your emails shine brighter than a disco ball at a '70s dance party.

Imagine this: your subscribers eagerly awaiting your daily emails, not just because they're hoping for a killer deal, but because they can't resist the lure of your wit and charm.

With each click, they're not only buying your awesome offerings but also inviting your quirky personality into their lives. It's like being the life of the party, the one everyone can't get enough of (even if they pretend to be too cool for school).

But let's not forget the practical side of things. When you sell from your emails every day, you're creating a powerful sales pipeline that can rival the speed of a cheetah on Red Bull.

Your subscribers become accustomed to your offers, eagerly anticipating what delightful surprise awaits them in their inbox each day. It's like having a direct line to their wallets, only with more laughter and less awkward small talk.

So, my friend, if you're ready to unleash the full potential of email marketing, where selling meets humor, and conversions dance the tango with chuckles, then I'm your comedic guide through this wild journey.

Together, we'll craft emails that not only make people hit that "buy now" button but also make them wonder how on earth they survived without your humor-infused sales pitches.

Get ready to sell, laugh, and conquer the email marketing world, one hilarious message at a time. Let's make your subscribers fall head over heels for your brand, while their credit cards do a happy dance of their own.