Your Customer's Inbox Is a Battleground.
Here Is How You Win...
Every day, your customers are bombarded by emails that promise the world and deliver…meh.
But here’s the thing: while your competitors are shouting into the void, you can stand out by sending emails people actually want to read. The kind that entertain, connect, and—most importantly—sell.
The Power of Staying Top of Mind
It's a fact: 20% of your customers drive 80% of your sales.
That’s your golden goose.
Your competitors know this too, which is why they’re out there flapping around with generic “We miss you!” emails, discount codes that scream desperation, and subject lines like “Don’t Delete This!” (Spoiler: it gets deleted).
Meanwhile, you can do something smarter:
- Stay consistent. Show up in their inbox like clockwork—not like a nagging reminder, but like that one friend who always texts you just as you’re debating whether to order pizza. Build trust by being there when it matters most (and even when it doesn’t).
- Be unforgettable. It’s hard to stand out when your competitors are yelling “Buy this now!” I’ll help you tell stories that make your customers feel like you get them. Think less “corporate robot” and more “friend who gives great advice and also happens to sell exactly what you need.”
- Drive action. When your words hit that sweet spot between heart and wallet, customers don’t just buy—they brag about buying. Suddenly, your product becomes the thing they tell their friends about over brunch.
What Will Make You Different?
Most emails are like the guy at the party who won’t stop talking about himself. Good emails? They’re the ones that lean in, listen, and then casually say, “Oh, by the way, I have the perfect solution for you.”
Here’s how we make that happen:
- Some emails tell a story. Because everyone loves a good story. It’s how you grab attention, create connection, and make your customer think, “Wow, this brand really gets me—and also, I need this product immediately.”
- Others get straight to the point. Not every email needs a dramatic arc. Sometimes, you just need a subject line so sharp it could cut glass and a body that delivers the goods faster than a pizza tracker.
- Every email earns its keep. Whether it entertains, informs, or convinces, every word in your emails will pull its weight. Because an email that doesn’t work hard is just spam, and we don’t do spam.
Why Staying in Touch Matters
Here’s the biggest mistake you can make: letting your email list gather dust. That’s like planting a garden and then forgetting to water it—except instead of sad, withered plants, you get sad, withered sales.
When you don’t stay in touch, your customers forget about you faster than they forget their Netflix password. Suddenly, the “favorite brand” spot in their inbox gets handed over to some competitor with a bad logo and worse grammar.
But when your emails show up consistently, delivering value and occasionally making them laugh (or think), your brand isn’t just remembered—it’s adored.
Because people don’t buy from brands they forget.
Where Your Product Descriptions Fit In
The inbox is a jungle.
Your customers are being stalked by hungry subject lines, attacked by bold ALL-CAPS OFFERS, and occasionally lured in by the promise of a discount code that expires in 13 minutes.
Winning the inbox battle is only half the game.
Once your email gets them through the door, your product descriptions need to seal the deal—without breaking a sweat or sounding like a robot who moonlights as a tech manual.
Here’s the problem: most product descriptions sound like they were written by robots who skipped “how to be interesting” class.
Yours will do the opposite...
- They don’t just explain; they excite. Forget lifeless specs—your descriptions will show customers how your product transforms their lives, whether it’s solving a problem, sparking joy, or just making Tuesday a little more fun.
- They sell without sounding salesy. Your descriptions will be so good, your customers won’t even realize they’re being sold to. They’ll just think, “This makes so much sense,” and click “Add to Cart” without a second thought.
- They make you unforgettable. Boring descriptions are forgettable. The ones I write? They stick. They make people laugh, nod along, and feel like your product was made just for them.
The Bottom Line
The inbox is where the real fight happens.
With the right words, you don’t just survive—you win.
A quick peek at a few of the companies I've worked with
FAQ
My Most Frequently Asked Questions
The people on your list are human, right?
Gosh I hope so because humans on earth love to laugh.
I mean we all know those little grey guys who fly around abducting people are never seen joking around (they take their anal probing job quite seriously).
And when it comes to other alien species, your guess is as good as mine, although this guy looks fun...
Now I'm going to assume (as far as you can tell) your list is mostly human.
So then this would be an ideal time to remind you how every industry on the planet...
Have employees doing jobs that can be so tedious and boring...
They'd bite down on Carolina Reapers (worlds hottest pepper) just to inject some excitement into their work day.
But you could offer them something just as exciting and a whole lot less lethal to their taste buds.
Like opening highly entertaining messages from you...
About the cool stuff you do...
But written in an irresistibly hypnotic, "I can't wait to read what you sent today" kind of way.
Most emails people get in their job are lifeless corporate speak, endless questions or hypey salesy stuff.
Your company's emails, on the other hand, would be filled with so much personality...
People would be at a high risk of becoming addicted to them and find themselves tuning in every day for another "hit"...
Like it was their favorite podcast (awesome for open rates if you're the kind who nerds out on numbers).
Humor has the peculiar power to hijack a customer's attention so completely...
That they get totally sucked into reading your message like it was a black hole and never even realize they're being sold to the entire time.
But...
If your audience really is humorless and cube-counting dull (or it's just not appropriate) then no worries, I can adjust...
My writing is just as flexible as any boneless human you see folding himself in half on the street.
How much email you send will always depend on your market.
However, most industries can easily take an email everyday. Especially if they are entertaining and offer value.
Now if I can send a daily email to owners of area rug cleaning companies (an exciting niche if there ever was on one let me tell you 
) and sell over a million dollars worth of equipment with it...
Then there's a 99.999 blah blah blah percent chance you can do it in your industry.
Remember, the more you communicate with your customers the more of a relationship you're building. You want to own so much real estate in your customers head that your competitors can't even find a place to squat.
What your customer's brain will do with your competitor
Plus people don't always read their emails everyday, but if you're sending daily, there's a good chance you will be seen and read at least twice a week (usually more because they'll be so darn fun to read).
"Is there really enough interesting content to email every day?"
Are you kidding me? Strap yourselves in because we're about to embark on an email adventure like no other!
Let me tell you, no matter what company you own, the world is your oyster when it comes to captivating content. It's like having a never-ending supply of comedy gold, drama, and jaw-dropping moments.
It's like binge-watching your favorite TV show, but instead of mindlessly devouring popcorn, you're serving up mouthwatering offers to your eager subscribers.
Imagine your company as a master storyteller, spinning tales that make your subscribers lean in closer, eagerly awaiting your next episode.
Whether it's the thrilling saga of your latest product launch, the heartwarming anecdotes from satisfied customers, or even the epic battles you face in the competitive market, there's no shortage of captivating stories to share.
But let's not forget about the magic of creativity. With a dash of imagination and a sprinkle of marketing genius, you can turn any ordinary event into a compelling narrative that effortlessly leads to selling your products or services.
Take, for example, a trending event in your industry.
It's like finding a hidden treasure chest of engagement. Unleash your wit, drop some industry knowledge bombs, and watch as your subscribers become eager participants in the adventure. Every email is an invitation for them to join you on an exhilarating quest, where the ultimate reward is your amazing offerings.
And don't underestimate the power of current events, my good looking friend.
Ride the wave of pop culture like a pro surfer catching the biggest wave in town. Whether it's a viral meme, a celebrity scandal, or a bizarre world record, find clever ways to tie them into your email content. You'll become the life of the party, effortlessly captivating your audience while making them go, "Hey, these folks really get me!"
So, to answer your question with a resounding YES, there is absolutely enough interesting content to email every day.
Your company's unique stories, the happenings in your industry, or even the quirks of the world can all be transformed into irresistible tales that lead straight to selling your products or services.
It's like having a secret recipe for success that blends humor, relevance, and a sprinkle of magic.
So, my friend, embrace the art of storytelling, tap into your boundless creativity, and let those emails work their enchantment.
Your subscribers will be hooked, your sales will skyrocket, and your competitors will be left wondering how you managed to transform everyday tales into marketing gold.
Oh, you've stumbled upon something truly marvelous, my friend.
Prepare yourself for a wild ride through the email marketing universe, where every message is an opportunity to sell, make people laugh, and have them wondering if you've secretly tapped into their brainwaves.
Here's the scoop: when it comes to email marketing, it's like having a virtual storefront right in your subscribers' inboxes. You can sell your products, your services, and maybe even your soul (just kidding...maybe).
But why stop there? Let's sprinkle in a healthy dose of humor to make your emails shine brighter than a disco ball at a '70s dance party.
Imagine this: your subscribers eagerly awaiting your daily emails, not just because they're hoping for a killer deal, but because they can't resist the lure of your wit and charm.
With each click, they're not only buying your awesome offerings but also inviting your quirky personality into their lives. It's like being the life of the party, the one everyone can't get enough of (even if they pretend to be too cool for school).
But let's not forget the practical side of things. When you sell from your emails every day, you're creating a powerful sales pipeline that can rival the speed of a cheetah on Red Bull.
Your subscribers become accustomed to your offers, eagerly anticipating what delightful surprise awaits them in their inbox each day. It's like having a direct line to their wallets, only with more laughter and less awkward small talk.
So, my friend, if you're ready to unleash the full potential of email marketing, where selling meets humor, and conversions dance the tango with chuckles, then I'm your comedic guide through this wild journey.
Together, we'll craft emails that not only make people hit that "buy now" button but also make them wonder how on earth they survived without your humor-infused sales pitches.
Get ready to sell, laugh, and conquer the email marketing world, one hilarious message at a time. Let's make your subscribers fall head over heels for your brand, while their credit cards do a happy dance of their own.